Hello

My Story

In 2014 I sadly lost my dad. We were very close so it hit me hard. What it also did, which I did not expect, is make me look at my life and whether my life choices were ones that my dad would be proud of. I was in an unhappy marriage and was forever walking on eggshells around my husband, never knowing what mood he would be in, protecting the children from whatever situation was presented to us each day and dealing with the emotional and psychological control was tough. I was also the main earner and working long hours around child care, caring for my mum, facing financial issues alone and forever fighting the tears, all whilst working so hard to provide for my family and give them all that they deserved.

I decided that this was not the life for me and my children deserved a better example. My husband refused to do anything constructive so I packed up our things, hired a van and the children and I moved to a little flat with nothing but our personal belongings and a few boxes of memories. They were 9 and 6. I had nothing and what followed was years of an acrimonious divorce, emotional turmoil, financial struggles and dark places whilst I navigated lone parenting, working, all with a smile on my face.  I slept on a sofa for 5 and a half years until I was able to rebuild my life, one step at a time, finally being able to buy a home big enough for my children and I in 2020. We even got a puppy!

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My amazing children are now 20 and 17 and they have been my only focus for the past 11 years since I started this journey alone. My daughter is beautiful, caring and funny, has her own successful business, drives her dream car and has a healthy, strong, loving relationship with her boyfriend. My son is a strapping 6ft something curly haired lad, thriving at 6th form, has just passed his driving test, has aspirations to become an architect, is amazing at DIY (loves his man of the house status) and is a gentleman to his girlfriend and treats her with love, care and respect. They both have the qualities and morals that matter the most to me.

I left so that my daughter did not grow with a bad example of how a woman should be treated by her Husband, that she knew what to bring to a marriage and the work required to be a good wife, mum, role model and provider for her family whilst also having the confidence and space to follow her own dreams. I wanted my son to have a solid example of how a man should act, behave, protect and provide for his family, whilst also pursuing his dreams and beliefs. I left to give them a chance for history not to repeat itself.....and it worked. They are both so grounded and respectful in their relationships and so hard working, knowing right from wrong. Removing them from such a toxic environment, away from bad examples and in to a home full of love and mutual respect is the best thing I could ever have done for them, despite the difficulties that I shouldered to make it possible for them.

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As for me, I  have rebuilt from nothing and have the love and respect of my children, we have an incredible relationship, I have a beautiful home, a successful career as a forensic accountant , a dog, a kitten, three rabbits, and some amazing friends. I walked away from an impossible situation to protect my children and the three of us now have the life we always wanted, free to be ourselves and make the choices we want to make. And I did it on my own. It has been tough, impossible at times but I would make the same decision again today if I had to.

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But this isn't enough. My day to day work involves supporting clients in divorce with all of the financial aspects and processes and I find this rewarding, having been through it I know how grueling it is. With my personal and professional experience, I know that this process isn't just about legal representation, it goes so much deeper than that. I wish that I had had somebody by my side, not just a friend, as invaluable as that is, but somebody that has the experience, that knows how it feels that can walk beside me, lift me up and give me the strength each day to work through the emotions, practicalities and future planning that is so often overlooked.

There is the emotional trauma, there is the co-parenting, the where do I start to unravel these emotions and rebuild the life that I deserve and crave, how do I become confident again, how do I protect and empower my children, how do I become me again? How do I cope financially? How do I cope on the quiet nights when my children are with their other parent and their new partner?

What is my future?

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This is why I have decided to become a divorce coach. I want to help people that are where I have been, to make something good come of my own experience because even if I can help just one person to move forward, then my personal experience will have been worth it. Because I know that we need so much more than legal representation.

You don't need fixing but you may need someone to walk beside you until you build the confidence and ability to make your own decisions again and gain the clarity that you so desperately need. I want to offer a safe space where you can feel heard, where I can support and guide you. You WILL become you again.

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And I guarantee that we will have a giggle along the way. I have a silly sense of humour, I am a glass half full kind of girl and I will always find the positive in each and every situation.

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One of the back bones of raising my children with very little support has been.....if there is a problem, no matter how big or small, we break it down in to smaller pieces that we can manage and we tackle it together, one step at a time. This is our mantra and I am so proud that they now, as adults use that mindset themselves. But it doesn't stop there........

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You will also move forward with clarity, confidence and intention, one step at a time.

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Book your free 25 minute Discovery call now.

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